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im supposed to be an artist.. right. right? and i wonder why i feel…

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im supposed to be an artist.. right. right? and i wonder why i feel so blah. working for such a busy store that focuses so hard on sales, its drained me of all my creative energy. i really wish i could take a 2 months hiatus and find myself again. i cant remember what its like to paint, feel creative and to not be tired all the time. oh, and to not be constantly gaining weight. ive gained 30 lbs since november and in total im 65lbs over my goal weight. its feels like im looking down a dark, cold hole thats just getting darker the longer i give myself to this company. but this is real life right? who can afford to take a hiatus. are we all just living to pay bills and to lose ourself just to have food on the table?
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On August 30th, 2012 05:07 pm (UTC), chksguitarlicks commented:
i seen you post on ohnotheydidnt but i like your lj...even though you rarely post..

not that it matters but ever heard of the REBOOT your life? or sparkspeople.com? I go on it as motivation ... and I'm not overweight or anything I just want to tone my body...its a fun site to work with honestly. maybe it can encourage you if your still feeling this way now.
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On July 30th, 2013 12:04 am (UTC), the_quiet_key commented:
I seriously feel you. I've been working for large corporations for as long as I've been a working gal and every year that passes I feel a little piece of my soul has died, but I'm doing the right thing, right?! So society would say, but I've never felt like I'm looking at the person I imagine myself to be. I'm a responsible, independent woman. I've got a good job that I should be damn lucky to have in these times, I've got all my finances straight, I work hard, but I'm miserable! It's nothing short from being a slave, where they dictate when you can have free time. I've had to sacrifice so much of myself to be a part of this society I have no common ground with... for money, for security. I feel like I live to work instead of working to live. I guess this is what they call being an adult. It kind of blows.

Also, two months has always been the ideal break for me, too. Working sucks, but there is no worse feeling than being unemployed. Two months is the perfect amount of time to find rest, work on a project and feel accomplished before going back to the grind.
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